Sometimes you damn yourself because you don’t speak the language of the country you’re in. Everything had been so much simpler, and you could’ve avoided so many misunderstandings had you only known how to speak with people in their own language. Sometimes you just get so pissed off and quietly wonders if they are all idiots or what, but that’s just not fair.

They are not idiots, it’s rather I who’s the idiot for not learning to speak with them in their language, the language they speak in the country I want to live in.

Not many people you meet in Thailand speak good English, and those you meet in tourist places are struggling, stammering and it’s messy. My own Thai English which in fact works amazingly well with Oh is in fact only a language we’ve developed and taken as our own; unfortunately I’ve discovered it doesn’t work on any random Thai.

Plucking/waxing and tinting = $5

One day I was off to get my eyebrows fixed. This is actually one of the perks living in this wonderful country – you can get yourself pampered in beauty salons and spas for a small amount of toy money. You don’t have to make an effort and do something as boring as plucking your eyebrows or tinting them, you can get someone to do it for you for just $5. Who doesn’t take that chance? If you’re not careful you can easily become very lazy here…

My eyebrows weren’t good enough for the Ladyboy who fixed them in one salon – he was into the wide and heavy style.

Usually it turns out ok, but sometimes things get out of control. Crazy control. Like this one time (at band camp) I went to this beauty salon in Mae Nam. The Ladyboy taking care of me obviously thought my eyebrows were too thin because he put tint on my skin to make them look wider and heavier. Oh laughed his pants off when he saw me. After plenty of scrubbing in hot water I managed to get most of it off, but still looked like this:
If you look far out in the corners you can see what he’s been up to. I just have half eyebrows, because the hairs, hm how to say that? The hairs are so scattered at the outerrim (?), so I’ve chosen to pluck them all, and fill in the rest with a pen. But apparantly that wasn’t good enough!

“No tattoo!!!”

The other day I found a salon here in Fisherman’s Village (it seems there are mostly massage salons here), and I asked if they fixed the eyebrows. Yes, yes. “Colour, too?” I asked and tried to pronounce it as simple as possible. OOOOOH no, was the answer. “No tattoo!” Hrm, no no, “I no want tattoo. I want colour!” 4 uncomprehending Thai women was staring at me. No bells were ringing anywhere.

Brown! Make-up

Finally one of the ladies lit up and they spoke amongst themselves and suddenly yes, of course they could do it. “Make-up” another one said and I just aaaaaaaah. “Brown” another one pointed out, and in a tone not allowing any protests. I prefer black, but chose not to object. I agreed to the fixing and make-up. I’d just have to find out just what the make-up was all about. Did they just paint me with a pen, so be it.

Orange coloured eyebrows

Very accurately. She did the plucking and waxing pretty well – it turned out pretty beautiful, even though I was nervous at times. The eyebrows are pretty important and you can look really funny when it goes wrong. This time the colour got completely screwed up:


Lucky me, the damage she managed to do wasn’t permanent, so when I came home I washed the shit away. So I guess I will have to keep on looking for someone who does the tinting too. Worst case scenario I will have to return to the Ladyboy in Mae Nam. 😉


4 thoughts on “Eyebrows…

  1. Oh my goodness I understand you in this post so so so much! I had to remind myself so many times, that it was I who should learn Thai and not the other way around, but it is so hard not to get frustrated. Your poor eyebrows! I guess it makes for good story though. I miss Thailand after this!


      1. I’m going to be in Vietnam, Malaysia and Singapore and Hong Kong in June and devastatingly enough, not T-Land! I can’t wait to move back properly though


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